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I returned to North Dakota desperate to live my own life without any regards to family or God.After many lonely drunken nights, I ended up with another man.He turned off the radios by his chair and turned and listened. Dad and Mom both reassured me repeatedly the next few days that no matter what, I am their son, and they would always love me — which they did.I returned to my ship in California determined to put this all behind me.Towards the end of that summer, I came to the full realization that I had been living my life for every one else and not for God alone.

I don’t remember what words spilled out, but Dad did an amazing thing.

Afterwards, this time I chose to fix myself by suicide.

I don’t remember much, but the pastor said that I had called him, and I ended up in the ER and a week court-ordered stay at the State Hospital.

However, the Navy had been contacted by the police department.

Less than two weeks later, after multiple sessions in a psych ward, I was given a DD214, JFX, RE-4 — an honorable discharge via administrative separation due to personality disorder for the convenience of the government with no chance of re-enlistment.

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Our family was considered “country” and “holy roller” by the townsfolk.

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